the road with the echo

i can't take it
you're pushing too hard
the screaming is constant
my nerves are shot
those feelings are gone
they were-
shot dead.
and yes,
for awhile they lied here
still,
inside me.
weighty like dead animals

my garden turned new colors
every second of the day
my eyes grew wider
my skin lighter
then darker
then pale 
pale as pale can be
much like the white one might see
before you reach eternity.
the noise continues
and as for me:
all that's left now is bones
percing the
wounds
and
places
of
what was once alive inside my 
being
now everything is dead

and a faint voice is down the road far off in the distance 
he keeps screaming something about
hope
so i mark down the word
hope
inside my notebook
and i wait for his screams to come again
perhaps this whole thing
is not about me.

our greatest pain is often God's tool of choice for our transformation.

a miracle is here.

hotel beds and ocean dreams

on my birthday i wore the wrong dress,fell into a hotel bed sobbing and laughing with a few girlfriends who cheered me up and as they fell off to sleep i spoke on the telephone to a california dream and he was brave for me,and very sweet.  for my next love I'm going to wear his name on the back of my leather jacket which seems alot cooler than wearing a heart on your sleeve. i think the loneliness has been eating me up believe it or not + i don't think you get used to a nun heart when you've been created for romance and things. even with the spirit living inside me i think its alright that I'm thirsty.keeping to the pace of nature. living in "the ocean of truth"..thankful for this grand ole gift called LIFE. i remain loving and affectionately yours.  spirit,soul,body,heartbeat                                            xx.