GAUZE

there were two broken teethe
lying side by side
on your 18th century
wooden floors.it was a tuesday.

that blood won't come out you know
that bloods gonna stain your beautiful floors

i ripped the bottom of my shirt

inventing a rag.
we had no cleaning supplies

usually.

it began to soak up all the blood
your running faucet mouth

 had shed. your stupid mouth.

and just as you roll your eyes

trying to get the words out

(you gauzy mouthed man)

thinking how I ALWAYS attach myself
to the "insignificant"
(the baby bird on the cement,the homeless man in norway with no feet)
to the minuscule ways of (me) being a being
your disdain of my commotion:
my tendency for productivity.
a daily harvest of emotion.

i was writing you well
i was holding on to your
boney hand
as you told me you didn't love me
as i told you to take your vitamin c.

we were listening to crows sing
we were refraining from dancing
i.was.shriveling.

i included you in my memories
or what was left of the concept
remember that day we only ate purple things?
remember the day we kept trying to count your breaths?
and we lost count..and we...melted inside of the ground
and planted ourselves to grow into
better versions of ourselves-a rare type of plant.

as you wilted,i grew quite sad
and shriveled my branches
back into the ground.

you were throwing up seeds
as i gathered them
I'm so sorry,i treated them as weeds

go back to the very second i told you
blood stains are forever lasting
the second you told me
my mouth would be prettier stitched up
with lavender thread,sealed shut.

rewind to:
the day i told you i needed more blueberries
from the corner store
as i was looking up at you
putting on my fur coat
(that belonged to your grandmother)

on sunday's the image of the day-
i left your doorway
& took my ribs to the train.
i brought my watering can
and a picture frame.

the image of my eyelashes for the first time
not smiling.

you simply asked me to bloom
in the wrong environment.

killer

You were once here--
sitting next to me,
breathing at the same pace,
knowing me better than I knew myself.
I was convinced for awhile
whatever spell you casted was strong enough to bind me
Till death
And so I drove
With you
To the end of the road
And back again.

Hands and feet and heart and a constant need for you and your nearness and your familiar touch.

Your strange anonymous spirit.

With a closed heart you marched around me 7 times
Praying for the walls of Jericho to fall and so they fell just as you summoned
Boundaries blown
Unarmed and reaching out for no one
Glazed
Pained
Mania
Manic
Strange

Death was the goal,right?
Shut me down
make my soul match yours
Watch as it stops shining...
See how you've killed the light?

You were cruel to kill me and call it love.

The violence ends and the wounds are just beginning to surface.
Years go by and the blood will still be wet and the weeping at night will still be fresh.
And you go on.
Stealing light from another girl whose life you want to posses.
I've heard demons tremble when they hear the name of Jesus-
But his name is the one you hide behind.
Demons tremble and you hold a straight and steady pace?
Insane.
For the rest of my life:go away.
What's worse than a demon who stalks you day and night?
A man so driven to be his own God-
Wickedness is not difficult for me to define.
You and you're witchcraft and the summer you tried to take my life.
Don't touch me
Don't reach for me
Just stay oceans away
In the mountains in your routine on your throne you built yourself worshiping your mystic parade:insane.

night birds

"I'm the bird with the piercing eyes whose mind is wider than an ocean and you:
You are just silent. "