monster mush

I understand I have said this a thousands times before. I will say it once,I will say it one gazillion times. I should of been an actress. I should of been a spy. I should of been a ghost whisperer, or maybe an interpreter. I would nod my head gracefully as I shook hands firmly. I would wear soft colors on my face and warmly smile at those seeking my translation. 

There is a man in the garden and he is weeping all over my peonies. He is drowning all my flowers with his salt water faucet eyes.  He is teaching me. He Is speaking to me in broken English and I am understanding everything. These are the moments I wish i could erase my ability to perceive things,my ability to discern almost e v e r y t h i n g. 

this is all about my eyes isn't it?
this is all about your idea of 
ceremonies.

there are freckles jumping off of my nose
and attaching themselves to your heart-
strings.

I was trying to explain myself
will you slow down I am just trying to
apologize
for all of this
for acting
for leaving
for my eyes
the route my hand takes
whenever I'm by your side

I am perfect at self control,right?

I am trying to get all these words out
I am trying to hold back
and you are just sitting there
with your mouth wide shut

And you are ruining my garden!
With your salty tears
I could not even mourn this loss,not at all,not even a little bit.

Listen...

What you have read in books
about how I 'should' or 'shouldn't' be
has brainwashed you into thinking I am a monster or something.


you were always attracted to monsters.