hold that thought.

vomit comes up
1,2,3 years after you feel sea sick
just as the fantasy of escaping:a heartbreak,a phone call,a bruise,grief.
is impossible;a silly dream.

oh,the naivety we obtain in our sleep!
we glide through our emotions
tucking them into closets
the trunks of our car
the hallways of disbelief
attics attics attics

I close my eyes and remember the way
things used to be.

heartache by heartbeat

remember all these things?


is cutting itself back into my memory
it is slicing through skin I've tried to cover
skin i've never truly seen
for thousands of days and even more nights.

i miss my childhood things.
my madame alexander dolls
my rollypollies underneath the bricks by the oak tree.


we are pushing
the corpses of our grief
moments of
our past
under the current
we are drowning the mass of the matter
under a substance
that is tem-por-ary.

we fight off the memories
(we fail)

our minds are not kind enough
to pardon us.