sleeping pills

lavender pills going down 


conversations never coming up


poison going through:


veins,throats,mind,ears,mouth.


ear drums burst from the pressure of the flight


"they lost our memory so we are without our
sense of sadness for the next three days"


great.
(writing on my wrist two words.. n o w w h a t ?)


airports are perfect
no one ever asks you why you are alone
if you are crying people think its because you just said goodbye to someone


i had been crying for 2 years
this layover was soaking wet from my storms
and so n so never wished me good luck
so no,no i don't think luck is real,ok?


he was
kissing me goodbye never


i dont remember the last time i  spent the night
with anyone.


i don't recall the last time
someone held my face or told me it was going to be alright




hotlines to god hotlines to hell and back and taking my time to explain things that you hate


i imagine a soft light going through my body and a soft focus on your eyes whenever they focus on me which is rare i mean never


my face says it all my face says :blank girl with zero secrets left.