i heard from someone much older than me that life will never feel the way i think it should feel.
when you have a big picture mindset you despise those people who come along with their summaries of life or their quick fixes. you hate small talk. gossip is irrelevant. you go along with things but you always feel miserable.
when you have a small picture mindset you might be a bit predictable and boring and you might be selfish.
an extreme is a negative,with a single exception. is this right?
i just wanted to put down in writing that i have been through a massive war. i am so deeply humbled by this. i am living in this state of shock.i am in shock. and i am seeing and feeling things that most people seem to turn off.
don't try to summarize things. don't try and put a period on a ...
you do this and you shoot yourself in the foot
you have not seen what your friend has seen. you have not felt what your friend has felt.
i am not worried. i am not crying for myself.
some days i am so blank and exhausted. a past love or a best friend becomes the "FACE" of the battlefield.
we convince ourselves its them. its only them. that we must conquer or kill or love or run away from or we call it unfinished business and spend our lives in delusion. we destroy them unknowingly with our emotional dependency.
your battlefield is not a human being,your battlefield is: your brain and the fight between conscious and unconscious living.
its not a person. its not a person. its not a person.
the solider who comes home from battle.suffers post trauma, turns to chemicals hoping to mute the pain...AS IFyou can earase knowledge AS IF you can UNSEE the seen! /
is the MAN who deceives himself into thinking that a human being is solely responsible for his pain.
truth is a heavy weight we who seek it will carry with us ...for the rest of our time on earth.
the weight of delusion and self destruction is heavier,and it will make you do things. bad things
you will kill yourself trying to hide from it//worse you will kill those around you.
don't do it. kill it. kill it before it kills you. kill it before it kills them.
what you do not kill,will kill you.