3:32 am -4:55am revelations from underneath that part of my ribcage that makes a noise when we are supposed to be asleep:

I have no other option but to confront these emotions:







that feeling where the wind is
knocked from your
soul

reminds me of

the praise those who fall in love
get.
skip to:
wedding day
juxtaposed

the shame that comes with
those of us who fall in love
alone.

who fall in love
alone.

who fall in love
alone.

who fall.


when you read through old journals
from 6 years ago
with the same demons
haunting you
then
that are haunting you
now


Each day brings about
a new question
that will remain
unanswered

for the most part.


i feel this uprising
inside of me

through each storm
of my life


i feel this warning
a spark

going off
beside me


ten thousand reasons why
we are sep-erated
from love.


and one perfect reason
why we don't care at all


i don't even think twice.


I remember my being my
body
on a mountain top
i'm wearing something
with
french seams.

I stand
screaming
wanting you
to remember:
each
touch
membrane
fever

I stand.

if i could earse one thing
from my youth
it would be all those
ambitions
involving
a beard and a battle scene
and the hope
for
the evolution of

you.




I celebrate the concept
of you never wanting me
enough
I applaud the sea who separated
the implied unity
I shall kiss the face of fate
whose mouth was displeased with the taste
of our souls
aligning


in the silences
I hear
you
you
you
we
we
in the noise
I remember:


a face. a name. a birthday. a friend. a past.a moment.
hands hands hands
feet feet
cheek to
cheek.



on forgien soil
upon freezing seas
amidst altitudes
within' everything,


i have grown new fingernails
new teethe
fresh braids
i have left
seas
and strange lands

only to return
to the same haunted
town.

where you remain.
and I will exist

not quite different
however
oddly the same.




god bless the souls
of those
who fall into
anything
alone.