The west coast used to be steady

jan 25. the lunar new moon makes everyone feel manic/it's not just u
the bzzzzing you can't drown out is omnipresent.

Remember when moving Out West was the Ultimate teen dream fantasy?

Fast forward to the neon lights that you can’t outlast

Buzzing from the Mezcal and echos of empty drive-by shootings of encouragement

We're all doing great!!! Thanks!

Yeah, it glows.

The lonesome lows meet there new meaning

This kid is complaining there’s no room service in his motel he’s been living in since he arrived here in December

Pretty sure he’s Russian and that’s a thing there? Surly. He must not know? He moved out here to model which was honestly a good idea in theory. California is seductive to like, a lot of people. But his soul is too fragile for this place. He needs more home before he can become his own home. His heart is too fragile for these people who love new faces and fight to drain your purity and use it for their skincare routine. “Omg Samuel!” A monotone masculine leaning voice shrieks through the office “have you not tried this new serum?! Its black market Russian. So u know it’s good! it’s literally everything!

Burns at first. You’ll get used to it.”

Samuel shifts his energy all the way into himself

“You get used to it”

 He whispers under his breath

Just like everything.

The burning lasts forever

But you’ll get used to it.

“I closed the box and put it in a closet.

There is no real way 

to deal with everything we lose.”- Joan Didion