when we look back on letters from war,we see how much has changed from a time not very long ago.

always
feeling
one million miles away
and one million
apologies short.

skin 
scent
light hair
heavy soul
flower bed.
cherished-
and you were.

i
the fire going out
it
struck me down

like lightning
to the human body
near death but
trauma for one year straight.

i thought of you... i did
i promise
the end didn't ever feel like the end
till today.


so many cities divide
and tears bring back
everything
i have one message saved
on my answering machine

you

saying
"hello. im so worried for you"

that broke my heart

if i broke yours


i am so sorry


your skin next to mine-
after it was done

it killed my
insides.

and my eyes
now lack the spark they had
when we met

oh god. do you ever think of me
and hope for us?

I'm sorry
one million miles under the sea of deep
i cherish you.what i saw. what you said. how we met.
i loved you from the first time
we shook hands.



and theres more
but you're gone.
so whats the point


warm blooded man
sickly me

I'm sorry i wasn't well 
you deserve a city
and i remain on an island
replaying my wrongs.


and you,are just silent.

one year later
i miss you
and i hate the fire that went out
near valentines day
last year
the year
i fell apart.


so many days waking up-
without

i miss you .

i dont really think any will love me like that

again.