alright alright alright 
the problem with everything is
francois was telling the class about his wounds
his battle wounds from last nights war with
his ex lover and some literal story involving their camping weekend 
that went
to hell aaaand:
something about a mountain lion and weird cologne
it sounded alot like that movie with the twins and the step mom they try to emotionally damage through nature pranks

all classes and meetings are hospital waiting rooms and trying to stay underwater in the shallow end for 90 seconds 

I'm thinking about my hair the whole time 
he is bleeding,his blood is dripping he is acting like he doesn't realize it but he just loves to hear himself talk so he will skit it out.

sitting next to me with a heavy presence is
this sexually frustrated > man with a mind that is underdeveloped 
i think top ramen brain. boil the water already. put your brain in hot water
add that seasoning and watch everything change.

i am thinking about how strange it is that people cook or talk about food 

my hair is so blonde and wavy

people look at me with the look you see in movies. when the aliens land on planet earth or when something without life gets life and people notice

i forgot to use my indoor voice at a party the other night and now I'm thinking about that on top of my hair and wondering why people look at me like an alien.

the last person i really kissed,i hope he is alive. I'm thinking about that. i don't know if he is dead ever. he was sick. i am now sick. this is a dead horse, mentally.

the last person i really kissed:

his girlfriend called me on the phone from california desperately seeking answers. she asked me to never speak to him again. i said yes. of course i said yes. of course i said yes.

i can't believe i started writing this in the middle of someone telling me about their camping trip gone wrong story

i need to go to a place where there are no vibrations
no movement
no sound
steady weather
cold sheets
modern medicine

why did i live in budapest alone that year? 

loafers and socks for medical reasons. the doctor called me 70 and i called myself a cab.

i get so upset when i think about reasons why i can't be in love with someone. I'm angry.
that is a loving person. this doom culture is a thorn in my wrist or like a stain on my new dress or the hotel with no room service and like no maids to make up my bed or a breakfast with no fruit or being forced to eat something that had a heart beat . blood is terrible and in control of everything someone write that down!!

i will be your night guard while you wear a nightgown i will be your night nurse i will read to you slowly all the books that i carry with me i will love god more than you because if i do not know god i do not know love and if i do not know love i will not be able to practice,love.

that is the most romantic thing you could say to me right now and there i've written it down. if this spoils it for you then maybe you are not the sport i thought you were and this was not ment to be at all..........hey self,call yourself a cab already!