leave me in the leaves

a massacre poured down
washing all my obsessions away
just as rain cleanses the streets
after we dirty it with our eager selves
and our foolish feet.

perhaps it is the death of a god
the murder of a thrill
that pushes me into a corner
 a gun to my chest.
I don't recall:fear
nor the shakes
sometimes I just move this way.

We were all the things
I would of wanted to remember,in a memory.

I used to drape leaves over your head
and dare you to be a child

He would:engage me
the way I needed him to.

You never looked at me the way
I know you wanted to

you never kissed me the way
a husband would,not even with your eyes closed.

I don't cry
I weep

I haven't mourned
I've just buried myself 
underneath the soil of
all these things

I can't bare to watch
I can't bare to breathe

I felt/fell into love

like a thick cloud of smoke
or a fancy magic trick

now you see it
now you don't

you give and you take away
you give and you take away
you give and you take away

your eyelashes they stickBold
to my sheets

your aura it clings to my:

some things were only just meant to be-