leave me in the leaves

a massacre poured down

washing all my obsessions away

just as rain cleanses the streets

after we dirty it with our eager selves

and our foolish feet.

perhaps it is the death of a god

the murder of a thrill

that pushes me into a corner

with

 a gun to my chest.

I don't recall:fear

nor the shakes

sometimes I just move this way.

We were all the things

I would of wanted to remember,in a memory.

I used to drape leaves over your head

and dare you to be a child

He would:engage me

the way I needed him to.

You never looked at me the way

I know you wanted to

you never kissed me the way

a husband would,not even with your eyes closed.

I don't cry

I weep

I haven't mourned

I've just buried myself 

underneath the soil of

all these things

I can't bare to watch

I can't bare to breathe

I felt/fell into love

blindly

like a thick cloud of smoke

or a fancy magic trick

now you see it

now you don't

you give and you take away

you give and you take away

you give and you take away

your eyelashes they stick

to my sheets

your aura it clings to my:

memory.

some things were only just meant to be-

momentarily.